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Thursday, October 08, 2009
__* 7.53 pm .`+
It's hurting, but still someday I'd have to do it.. Maybe letting go now is the best way out for the both of us. Actually.. I only wanted to make him stay. But dont know what I'd said, made him have the wrong idea and wanna give up on us.. Maybe I'd said it in the wrong manner or something.. Well. Im such a retard and screwed up person, always messing things up. In the beginning only wanted to tell him how I feel.. Only wish he could at least change and dote me a little more. I had never expect anything more.. Maybe all along I'd been a burden to him, always causing so much unhappiness. He asked, "Why still wanna look him up, since things are the way it is now?" Cause.. there will also be times that I'd miss him like crazy and want him by my side. There will be times, I would change back into a small girl and cry my heart out.. If I dont care, I would have walked away.. But I never did, though I always say only. I was hoping he will say something like he will treat me better or stuffs like that.. But he never did. Until the end.. He still, never did. I was utterly upset and disappointed when he asked me to find someone better instead.. Really, no words could describe how I feel.

If I wanna find someone better, you think Im not capable to? But I seek for feelings more than anything else.. You really think Im such a materialistic person? Or can just anyhow pull someone out there to be my guy and claimed that I love him when I dont, just to put up a show in front of everyone else that Im better off without you? Maybe you still dont understand why I had given up someone to be with you months ago. Maybe you dont understand why Im remaining single all these while. Maybe you dont know me.. Or rather, you had never made efforts to understand me at all. I should be happy that now finally I can let you go, after hearing such words coming out from you.. I should be relieved. But unfortunately, Im not. I should be hating you, but no.. Im feeling more hurt than hatred..


THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

~ { Thursday, October 08, 2009 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;