Monday, September 29, 2008

__* 1.17 am .`+

2709 ; was my off day .. finally got to met up with tiger at night , was the 1st time i saw him since he come out . he use friend bike fetch me from cck go teck whye his friend house .. he really slim down ler . but still looks the same bird face as ever .. anyway , there quite a number of people in the house . reach there awhile then go downstairs help them buy tibits and drinks .. tiger and me walked down together to the prime supermarket . on the way we talk cock sing song only . then there's a road that we need to cross over .. he walked in front , me behind him . then like got car coming .. he stretched out one of his hands to the back .. i saw that . but i did not reach out .. didnt expect him to reach out for my hands like in the past what he always did while crossing roads ..

after buying stuffs , i helped him carry some . but in the end also pass back to him .. when he called me his maid . so down there , we slacked around lor . watching tv , drinking , playing cards .. but i nvr drink cause got headache due to past few days ago play some stuffs . then most of the time , im lying on the sofa trying very hard to sleep after eating panadol to ease the pain .. tiger used his shirt and covered my legs . then Wilson spotted and di siao say , "why , scared we all see ah ?" haas .. then in the middle , tiger and i went downstairs again , this time is to the coffee shop to buy cigarettes and also to eat . and that was around 4 plus in the morning alrdy .. shiok sial . cause still need to go work at 11 later on .. actually is want go back his place de , but his friends dont allow him to leave . so he say go down eat something first then see how lor .. so reach coffee shop then he asked if i wanna eat anything , then i dont want . then he keep asking .. lols . so tired alrdy still so nag , feel like slapping his face . then he buy 1 bottle of tiger as usual .. we shared , cause he dont want drink so much . then i anything lor .. then when he come back with the beer .. on the table were 2 mugs . and in 1 of the mug is a straw .. i was shocked when i saw the straw .. he still remember it after all , even without asking me . then i keep laughing .. he geh siao say the straw not for me . but he all along nvr use straw one lor . knn , step one only .. anyway , beside us was sitting 2 uncles . then suddenly got 1 uncle saw my calf tattoo .. then he say very nice . keep standing beside me and squat down to see my leg .. his friend also come . then he ask me how much i do and where i got it done all these .. so i answered lor . then the friend standing beside one , suddenly tell the uncle , "oie , dont see so much already la .. u see the boyfriend staring at you liao . later he angry come punch u .." LOL ! then i turned back and realised tiger is staring fiercely at the uncle and his face damn black like dunno what only lor . the friend faster pull the uncle away .. and i turned back and say , "wahh , u so fierce so what sial ? need to stare people until like that one meh .." then he giggled and say "no la , see see only mah .. knn , why those uncles so humji one .. " okay , lame . in the end , i kept laughing at him ..

after eating , went back to his friend place rot again . then dunno what time , his friend's brother came back and was very angry when he saw so many people at his house .. then say what want call police ah . dots ! then in the end , all leave lor .. then some went back home , the rest went to tiger's place to stay over . so finally got to bathe and sleep at around 6 plus .. left a few hours to sleep nia . but was like damn squeezy la .. fcuking hard to sleep . so in the morning went to work myself . that's about it ..

i'd given alot of things up for him . im really sorry for all the hurt done .. but u alrdy knew that im waiting for him all along . i maybe foolish or selfish , but .. all i wish for , is just one last chance to be with him . even if my decision is wrong , and i'll regret in future .. it's okay , cause at least i tried and failed . better than i never bother to try at all .. understand what i mean ? please dont waste anymore time on me . move on happily ..

~ { Monday, September 29, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Friday, September 26, 2008

__* 3.01 am .`+

nowadays busy working as usual . if not would be hanging out with Jolyn or friends .. play until late late at night then go back home toh and die on bed . wake up next day is another same boring routine again .. i keep myself occupied with work whenever there's stocks .. there's a day when Boss came with lots of stock the day before .. then Moon and me go work jiu start do stocks ler .. do and do .. non-stop . do stock and at the same time serve customers .. very very fcuking bo eng . that day sales was the highest for this month . it's the only day that got pass 1k sales .. but we finish doing stocks at around evening time .. then dunno why like no more customers liao . feeling damn tired .. so relax and stand at counter .

then suddenly someone came to mind again .. & tears started to well up . cause .. this person was once very closed and impt to me . but now , everything change ler .. just only one year's time , and it has taken away what was meant to be my happily ever after . thinking that this person will no longer call me "Bibi" anymore .. whose hands will no longer held mine so tightly .. no longer call and ask where i am .. no longer care what i do .. no longer .. mine .. my heart turned sour . even now typing this down , i still feel a tinge of pain . it still hurts .. somehow .

when he called , i was elated . really . but it 's heart-piercing more than what's meant to be feeling happy .. like .. when he's not yours anymore , and you can only hear him talk about things regarding himself .. his friends , his family .. but ur no longer part of it .. where there was no you . you're purely just a friend to him .. you dont stand any place in his heart , his life .. & time can nvr reverse back to the past anymore . that's what im going through now ..

~ { Friday, September 26, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Friday, September 19, 2008

__* 1.12 pm .`+

once thought those feelings had fade away , but after ur out , really made things different . i know i still want to be with you .. but one cant force to love . i'll just go with the flow .. what's meant to be , will be . if only i had this one last chance to tell how much i'd loved you ..

~ { Friday, September 19, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

__* 11.14 pm .`+

in the morning actually wanna go fetch him , but his brothers said not to go . if wanna go , then go ourselves .. i dont know why they dont want girls to go . haiis . nevermind , maybe it's all fated .. after all those efforts of changing my off day and such , it's all gone to waste . waited for so long .. but end up also nothing . really very upset .. Ah Boy said , "if you miss him , msg him .. dont later next time then regret why you never do this and that in the past ." i told him that if we're meant to be , we'll be . he alrdy told me he will give me an answer when he's out .. if he nvr contact me , then i wont bother him ler . i dont want myself to look like a fool holding on .."

for now , i really need time to cool down .. a space for myself . to think what i really want .

~ { Wednesday, September 17, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

__* 5.56 am .`+

One year like this jiu pass ler . Though I dont feel as heartache as before , but I know I still miss him .. I know he still exist somewhere in my heart . Seeing him , is the only way to find out if my misses for him all these while , are purely just for a friend .. Or something else more ? I know that if I dont go down later , I will definitely regret . Even if there will be disappointments , at least I did do my part to be there .. & show that I care .

For the rest , let Fate decides ..

~ { Wednesday, September 17, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

__* 3.17 am .`+

matchstick and potato came down ytd .
i was shocked .
they're finally out ..

many have shed tears when they learnt that im still waiting ..
i really dont know what else more i can do ?
it's not something i can have a say in ,
im the one whose waiting for an answer ..
& it has been a year .

~ { Tuesday, September 09, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Sunday, September 07, 2008

__* 4.34 pm .`+

this is the 100th post . 9 more days to go .. it's the 1st time i'd ever felt so , confused . i know it's time to let go .. but just let me see him for the last time before i put eveything to an end .

i just dont wish to have more regrets in life .

~ { Sunday, September 07, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

__* 4.04 am .`+

seasons may change , but nvr my love . NEVER !! .. or has it alrdy ?

no matter what , i will fufill my promise de . i will wait .. even feelings have change or no longer that strong , i will . just because you asked if i would ? i told u before .. let time prove everything . even you dont love me no more or how others said ur not worth , it's okay .. cause i'll be happy if u are . even we'll not be together in future , i will still wait .. just because .. i will mark true my words . just because i'd always thought that your all that ever matters ..
how flirt i may be , my heart stays with you .

what is Love , without a heart ? & a heart , without a soul ?

~ { Tuesday, September 02, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

~`♥ The Message

~`♥ The Lady

~`♥ Love Aint Lust

~`♥ Friends For Keep