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Sunday, April 13, 2008
__* `+
In his letter , he still address and regard me as Bi Bi .. Though didnt mention much about giving any answers or whatsoever , I know what he hopes I would do . His reply was short , but at least good enough to ease me down . He requested me to write him the lyrics of "Would You Be There" by Redwan Ali ..

that song was the theme song for a chinese drama series shown on channel 8 every weekdays . i remembered the both of us watching it together , the show was named "Xin Fu Shuang Ren Chuang" aka Mars VS Venus .. and , the advertisement i always disturb him was Shokubutsu Shower Foam .. the one with the girl inside the bath-tub .

~ { Sunday, April 13, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Tuesday, April 08, 2008
__* 8.38 pm .`+
though broke off already , but my ex is still calling me up .. my things are with him , and his house keys are with me . it always seemed like a never-ending story going on between us .. want to walk away with peace also very hard . just now went out with Juliet , was my off day .. early in the morning went to saloon make hair then Juliet come find me . she waited for a few hours .. then after that we went to compass point walk walk , cause she want buy things for her bf . saw Steven my last time ex .. he become more suave . at least much better looking than last time while i was with him . chatted for a while nia .. anyway , finish walk liao went to hougang mall . then last , was plaza play pool .. long time nv play liao . first walked in , the surrounding and scenario made me thought of Lot One Kpool .. and last time while together with Tiger .. everytime go there just to wait for him and watch him pak billard with his friends .. nvm . then i started playing .. thought my standard must have drop tremendously . but as i hold the cue .. all the images rushed into my mind .. the face and expressions of what Tiger would always show and actions that he does while playing .. everything i remember so lividly . then my aimings become so accurate that i'd nv expect i could get the ball into that hole .. and this goes on for 2 rounds like that . though say alrdy also sad .. but really glad that till now , i could still remember him .. his face .. and features .

nv see Tiger for 8 mths plus liao .. but i can feel my heart is still with him . after he left my life .. those guys whom patched back with me .. whom once i thought i really loved them much , yearn and dying for a patch back with them .. but only after patching back with them .. i realised my thinking was so damn wrong . i always thought that i had loved them so much , so if patch back i would cherish and love them much more than the past .. but it's vice versa . the feeling's very different .. seems like the sweetness is alrdy long gone . just that people tried hard to get back to the past wanting to seek back everything .. one cant forced to love . especially when Tiger had nv once left my heart . guess im just deceiving myself that i could get someone better to replace him ..

~ { Tuesday, April 08, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Tuesday, April 01, 2008
__* 4.28 am .`+
a few changes on me . new piercings and tatts .. if he's still around , bet i wouldn't have done so . his disappearance made my existance worthless .. matters no more abt my appearance , or whatever shit impression given to outsiders . i never wanna be good , when he's not here with me ..

Fu msg this to me today . "Did you ever ask urself a good ques why always u cant wit ur bf together long ? To be honest u are a good gf but u are stubborn and dun really noe how to behave .."

i admit that im stubborn , and i always defy what others advise . but that's because in a relationship , i dont wish to be a dog that follows blindly and do whatever shit pleading my bf .. all i need is a little freedom and space to do the things i want . is that wrong ? fcuk ! i can be with my guy all the time , cast away all my friends .. but what did i get in the end ? nothing , but plain ignorance and being taken granted of . at the end of the day when everything's back to square one and i'm all alone , i've got no one to share my sulkings with . can you feel what im going through ? i tried hard to be the best i could , but they dont appreciate the things done .. so why should i listen ? im just the way i am .

if one day there's tremendous changes in me ,
you'll probably know why ..

~ { Tuesday, April 01, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;