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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

__* 2.40 am .`+
hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts.

不是大哭一场之后,就会好一点吗?为什么好像都没有用。。

why am i still feeling the same ..

sighs ... ...



THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY

~ { Tuesday, October 27, 2009 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;


Monday, October 26, 2009

__* 12.09 am .`+
Yesterday I went into the lift and pressed 6th floor ..
I still cant figure out the reason why .



THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY

~ { Monday, October 26, 2009 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;


Saturday, October 24, 2009

__* 1.03 am .`+
I dont know if ur still viewing my blog ..
But ..
You're really cold-blooded .
I should hate you ..
But I cant bring myself to .
I know I aint good enough for you ,
but you really dont have to do until so ugly .
Why am I the one to deserve all these treatments ,
when I was the one to make you stay and not those who had left you ?
Im really ..
really ,
very hurt .
I dont understand how you could move on so fast without a tinge of pain ..
when our relationship had just ended not long .
sighs ..



THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY

~ { Saturday, October 24, 2009 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;


Saturday, October 17, 2009

__* 11.24 pm .`+
Im a little confused. Would someone actually remember those past habits we had always done together before and his promise made 2 years ago? Though I dont know whether he really did it because of me, or is it just another excuse to stir up my feelings.. My weakness is too blind in love, and soft-hearted. Im really sick and tired of believing lies time after time again, when I'd put 101% trust in that someone. I really dont know what to believe in anymore. If it's really for me, why wait until 2 years later when my heart has died then tell me all this and that? Why even in the first place left me for her.. I really dont understand? Sigh.




THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY

~ { Saturday, October 17, 2009 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;


Thursday, October 15, 2009

__* 2.24 pm .`+
thanks for always bringing me out, always lending a listening ear. you know i'd be bored, u know i dont wish to stay at home.. because we both are in the same plight. i know ur feeling worse and your even more upset than me, but do cheer up. cause we have to understand that the world doesnt stop spinning because of anyone's loss.. i appreciate you bringing me out even though the next morning u still gotta report for ur 1st day of work. ur right, everyone is blind in love.. got to step outta the picture then things will be much clearer. now that i can see the full picture, i realised everything is plainly a one-sided love.. though it still hurts every now and then.. i think i will slowly let go. time will heals all wounds.. i dont know how long it will takes this time.. but by then, i will change away my hp wallpaper. because it hurts alot when my customers see my hp wallpaper and said that im very blissful with my bf.. well.. i will let go, someday eventually..

















ytd was supposed to be our 6th mth..













THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY

~ { Thursday, October 15, 2009 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;


Thursday, October 08, 2009

__* 7.53 pm .`+
It's hurting, but still someday I'd have to do it.. Maybe letting go now is the best way out for the both of us. Actually.. I only wanted to make him stay. But dont know what I'd said, made him have the wrong idea and wanna give up on us.. Maybe I'd said it in the wrong manner or something.. Well. Im such a retard and screwed up person, always messing things up. In the beginning only wanted to tell him how I feel.. Only wish he could at least change and dote me a little more. I had never expect anything more.. Maybe all along I'd been a burden to him, always causing so much unhappiness. He asked, "Why still wanna look him up, since things are the way it is now?" Cause.. there will also be times that I'd miss him like crazy and want him by my side. There will be times, I would change back into a small girl and cry my heart out.. If I dont care, I would have walked away.. But I never did, though I always say only. I was hoping he will say something like he will treat me better or stuffs like that.. But he never did. Until the end.. He still, never did. I was utterly upset and disappointed when he asked me to find someone better instead.. Really, no words could describe how I feel.

If I wanna find someone better, you think Im not capable to? But I seek for feelings more than anything else.. You really think Im such a materialistic person? Or can just anyhow pull someone out there to be my guy and claimed that I love him when I dont, just to put up a show in front of everyone else that Im better off without you? Maybe you still dont understand why I had given up someone to be with you months ago. Maybe you dont understand why Im remaining single all these while. Maybe you dont know me.. Or rather, you had never made efforts to understand me at all. I should be happy that now finally I can let you go, after hearing such words coming out from you.. I should be relieved. But unfortunately, Im not. I should be hating you, but no.. Im feeling more hurt than hatred..


THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY

~ { Thursday, October 08, 2009 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;


__* 7.10 pm .`+
那天我扬起帆
想看看未知的海
心里很多话想说说不出来
虽然我脸上看不出来
天空一样蔚蓝 却换了多少云彩
那时的你让我幸福百分百
是否为我等待

我知道我的爱一直都会存在
没有你泪停不下来
你知道我依赖多不想say goodbye
我痛说不出来

我知道我的爱一直都会存在
没有你快乐都停摆
某一天我期待和你笑的灿烂
回头看爱 都在

站在你的门外 我却幸福在徘徊
心里很多话想说说不出来
但我想你一定都明白
时间过的好快
想念却不曾更改
现在的你是否幸福百分百
我应该怎么猜

爱一直存在



THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY

~ { Thursday, October 08, 2009 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;


Tuesday, October 06, 2009

__* 3.32 am .`+
so much .. for an empty shell . despite all those discriminations .. i protect you from everything and everyone else . yet all i get back .. was an empty shell . a relationship .. which cannot withstand difficulties .. is not what i want or expect ... i could bear all hardships to be with you .. yet all you could answer .. was so irresponsible . im so disappointed .. for all those things i'd done and wanna do for you .. im simply ruined . i had never blamed you for anything .. all i wish for , is for you to at least answer to my call whenever i need you . but have you ? i'd always thought , being there for you was at least what i could do . but maybe .. i was .. wrong ...................... i thought u were the one i wanna settle down with . yet u let me down time and time again .. what have i exactly done wrong to deserve all those treatment from you .. i really dont understand .. why are those tears even falling ?



THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY

~ { Tuesday, October 06, 2009 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;


Thursday, October 01, 2009

__* 11.40 pm .`+
Sick. Sneeze, Cough, Sore Throat, Fever.. Tomorrow.. MC! Haas. Should be bah? Very uncomfortable la. Nose damn itchy and irritating.. Sneeze each time I open my mouth to talk with customers. Anyway, Render was sweet. Today is her off day, she went to town with her Bf and go find the mascara that I wanted.. Didnt thought she really go search for it. Though dont have, but still Im very touched.. Where to find such a thoughtful manager sial. Sounds like a good friend rather. Hmm, hope tmr still sick then I no need go work liao.. Hoho. Hmm, from today onwards I'll be jotting down every cents I spent. Cannot everytime spend until no money, then by end of the month always so broke and pathetic! Gotta remind myself to save up liao.. Dont wish to let him look down on me, always say Im not thinking. Must try to change away all my bad habits.. 我会加油的。你也会为我加油打气吧?=]



THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY

~ { Thursday, October 01, 2009 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;