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Thursday, August 14, 2008
__* 1.47 am .`+
im just not ready for anyone new .. i really dont wish to make myself believe that i saw "him" in CW . it's just a part of my wishful thinkings that i could find someone as similar to replace him in my heart . i know this is stupid .. cause even "he" comes out , he might lie to me saying he still love me and stuffs like that , then patch with me even if he dont have feelings for me anymore . cause he can make use of me .. but i really dont know . haiis . i thought of alot things .. i kept asking friend to help talk to him like say my good things after he comes out . but .. i know in the end , only i can help myself .

sigh . sometimes i really feel like crying my heart out .. it's like he left me for such a long time liao . though during this 1 year i got flirt around , but u really think im feeling good inside ? he just dump everything and went in sit .. leaving me with no answer and no nothing .. with no directions to go .. u really think im happily outside enjoying myself too ? .. i tried to disguise myself , finding new boyfriends like changing clothes cause i really dont want others to think that im so weak in the inside .. knn , he break with me alrdy even before he went in then why should i be foolishly waiting for him . right ? somemore if he really loves me , then he wont do knn things like going out with girls liao lor . i keep telling myself that i had misunderstood him in the past .. i keep telling myself he loves me , and he really never do anything that let me down . but whats the use ?! things will never be the same as before lor . hais . fcuk love !!!

because of my stubborness , i'd hurt another again .. im really really sorry .. i really must wait for him to tell me the answer , before i step into a new r/s .

~ { Thursday, August 14, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;