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Saturday, August 25, 2007
__* Last Goodbye . `+
I went back his place for the last time to get back all my stuffs . He did not ask for me to stay .. But only asked if Im going back home . He seemed worried that I'd run out .. But all these matters no more . Cause the main objective is that he did not even try to salvage this relationship , and it hurts . His parents just watched silently as I made my way out from the house .. It's like a farewell scene . I wanted a last hug from him , but I did not have the courage to make any move .

Sitting all alone at the small playground downstairs his place , tears started to flow .. Heard quarrelling noises coming out from his house . I was lost & confused .. Finally plucked up the courage to message him , asking if he still love me or not ? He only replied that he needs more time .. Though I said okay , but deep down I knew that there couldnt possibly be any chance of rekindling . After staying for awhile , I walked off and took a cab back , feeling unwell ..

Last night went drinking with my brothers . I was actually quite okay in the beginning .. But as Eric started to lecture me , I couldnt held back my tears . He patted me on my head .. To me , I know he really meant well . Perhaps one cant forced to love , I should have just let it go . Derrick and I played guessing games as usual .. He lost umpteen times to me . He drank quite alot too . I know he aint feeling any better either , having lost his 4 years relationship not long ago .. I dont know how to console him . We just continued drinking till the pub close .

I was drunk dead . Vomitted quite alot in the cab with Derrick .. I lied on his shoulders . He sent me to my doorsteps , which Im really very grateful . Dad opened the door . He was frustrated upon seeing me drunk .. He wanted to beat Derrick up , but I pushed him back and went back to my room . Dad shouted at me . But I can no longer feel a thing .. Mum & Dad were real disappointed with me . Im really sorry . I just need some private space for myself .. Please give me time to adapt living back in my own world .

I wish to move on .. Though it's isnt easy , especially when my workplace is at his often whereabouts . It's tough having to face his friends and still smile pretending nothing had happened .

I have once again failed to cherish someone important .

~ { Saturday, August 25, 2007 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;