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Wednesday, August 22, 2007
__* 210407 - 210807 . `+
Baby , I seriously dont know what went wrong into me .. I did flared my anger at you , but thats only because I had fallen too deep for you . You told me to have more trust in you , but I just cant do it . Imagine me talking on the phone with a guy every single night and claimed that I only wanted to pull string between my girlfriend and that guy . Have you ever stand in my shoes and spare thoughts for me ? I mean this is really fine with me , but why did you have to hide the truth that you guys were together watching movie while I was working ? It's really irony . Havent ur friend himself got hands to do the messaging with that girl or the mouth to sweet-talk with her ? This has gone over my boundary alright ? That is why I lost my temper .. Ok , perhaps I was too harsh in my words but I wasnt in the wrong . And you broke with me .

You had always reminded me not to break with you before you break with me .. This is selfish , but I can take it . I tolerate all your shits . Having spent my weekend off day at ur place alone waiting for you to come back .. You told me that you only wanted to send Yuan Qing home and asked me to wait for you . Yes I did . I cried myself to sleep while waiting for you , kept thinking abt that girl and you .. When I woke up , you werent there . I called you . I was angry . Cause it was evening . You said you were playing billard , but you didnt call back and tell me .. I asked what time you were coming back ? You said "Soon" . I waited again . But it was already night time ! I was fcuking pissed-off . You know why ? Not because I got to waste my off day at ur place alone .. Is cause you chose to enjoy and being out there with ur brothers and not with me . And you know that it wasnt easy to have my off days at weekends .. Nevermind . It's okay . But what really annoys me is that you that time kept complaining that I have no time for you .. As in , I did not accompany you on my off days . But do you know what you're doing ? Now Im changing for you , but ur taking me for granted .

We quarrelled over mutual trust . Over that girl . I nagged at you , and you said you know what ur doing .. If you dont love me anymore , then you could have break with me earlier . Ok , I listened and hold my anger . You also added that when I give attitude and slammed the door at ur place , I did not think about how ur Mum & Uncle would feel .. Somemore I show black face to everyone .

But did you know that while you're not around , ur Mum gives me face to see ? As if I'd owed her money . She not happy can show me faces , so cant I even show my anger for once ? You were not even there at home ! I stayed at ur place only for ur sake . I tolerate all these shits just for you . I took out all my piercings just because they wouldnt like it .. I request off days on weekends but have you ever appreciate it ? Every single thing that I had done to be a better girlfriend , did you ever sit down and reflect on ur roles ?

Today , I was working with the boss and Riziah . You sent me a sms asking for a break-up .. You said that since this thing make us so unhappy then might as well go separate ways .. I wanted to fight back the tears , but my attempt was failed . I cried at workplace , profusely and uncontrollably . Joyce & Bee came and find me .. I poured out all my sorrows . Joyce helped me call up his friends and scolded them , cause it was them who asked my guy to help them talk with the girl . I scolded them on the phone too .

I called my boss , requesting for off today .. He knew abt my matter . He agreed without hestitating and told Jolyn to come down all the way from SK to CCK to accompany me , and it was actually her off day . Thanks alot "Mummy" . Thanks Boss for being understanding ..

I kept crying . I didnt want to . I wanted a chance to talk to my guy .. But calls couldnt be made through . Bee asked him to come down talk things out with me , but he didnt want to . I was desperate . My guy asked me to go back to work then he'll come down Lot 1 .. But even if I go back to work , he come down Lot 1 also like that . Cause I dont think he'll come looking for me . There's a part where I was on the phone with my guy finally .. I asked him if he had really decided on this break-up , and his answer was "Yes" . They asked me to go down Teck Whye find him , cause he's there .. But I dont want . Cause Im not the one at fault .. What's more , why should I be the one begging him to stay ? I'm not the old Rabbit anymore . If he dont love me , then so be it .

I was upset though . I went out with Jolyn .. At night went to her place eat . His friend , Kang Wei called . I hung up . My guy called many times . I hung up too . He even msg me asking where am I . But I did not reply his message .. Just now even when I reached home , he's still giving me calls . I ignored them all .

Im just so frustrated and also upset at the same time .. It's like we'd been together for 4 mths already , and he's still doing things he's not supposed to . And this is the 2nd time he's helping his friend to talk with the girl .. Previously the incident happens on Joyce and I was damn pissed-off already . He had promised not to do that again , but why did he now ? I had come to understand that our love is just so fragile ..
And that I'll never be at the 1st priority in his heart .

~ { Wednesday, August 22, 2007 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;