__* 4.08 pm .`+
Yesterday woke up at 11.30 am , didnt wanna go work . But cause Render was at training and leaving Jason alone at work , I couldnt leave him to die . So I still cabbed down to work .. was damn shag and tired . Slept at 6 am in the morning .. Reached workplace at 12 plus , when I was supposed to start work at 11 . Jason told me HQ will be giving me a warning letter .. But seriously , I really cant be bothered . Lost interest in everything .. Just wanna do the things I want to , no doubt it's right or wrong .

Jason happened to ask how I and him . I told him last week alrdy no more .. He said no wonder last week I keep cleaning here and there in the shop , abit weird of me . Cause he had never seen me so quiet and moody before .. Haas . Actually I also dont know what Im doing ..



THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.31 am .`+

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.26 am .`+
no longer knows what is right, what is wrong. what is the truth & what are the lies? i dont know what to believe anymore.. so lost and confused by the words people say, yet behave the other way round. i just cant find anything to trust or have faith in.. so immune to the pain that i can barely feel anything now. im not a small kid, i no longer scream and shout or even cry.. i just dont do them anymore. im bottling up every single sorrows deep down, facing everything all by myself.. putting a strong front in front of everyone else.

what is meant to be, will be.. just keep in mind, i have always love you.





THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.49 pm .`+

__* 1.06 am .`+
Just now after bathing , I picked up my hp and saw a missed call from an unknown number which was not in my contact list . So I called back . It was diverted to a voicemail .. So I sent a message asking who he/she was . He replied "Tiger" . So I said "Ohhs .. How are you ?" Then not long , my phone rang .. It shows "Tiger hp" . But I wasnt in the least surprised at all .. Probably cause I already had the feeling that he will contact me when he comes out , it's only a matter of time . Dont know why I will have such instinct .. Maybe is cause during these past 2 years even that we're back to normal friends , either one of us will initiate to contact the other . It had somehow become a habit or so , I guess ? But mostly our conversations are really dumb .. Cause it always start off with a "Where you" , then "Oic" , "Enjoy" , "Take Care" & stuffs like that . Or even , at times we will start being sarcastic against each other for no good reasons .. Anyway , he popped out a stunning question . " You still have feelings for me or not ?" .. I told him that I would want him to be happy more than anything else .



THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.34 am .`+
Selwyn - Negative Things

Listen baby I wonder why sometimes we fall apart oh yeah
Together we are so wonderful yeah baby
And every single day i pray, that really things shouldnt never be this way
Im only trynna be a better man

Why then do you see all the negative things, in me?
Cos all i ever do is try to be, all that i can be
Girl you know your hurting me, all the things you say to me
As i lie at night im imagining things, how it used to be, girl you know ur hurting me
What am i to do with a broken heart?

All the time everybody say that you and me are over
But i know we're meant to be together for eternity
Was it untrue what we promised each other?
Baby my heart keeps telling me
That it shouldnt be this way forever
Im only trynna be a better man

“Why then do you see all the negative things, in me?
Cos all i ever do is try to be, all that i can be
Girl you know your hurting me, all the things you pray to me
As i lie at night im imagining things, how it used to be, girl you know ur hurting me
What am i to do with a broken heart?

Girl remember when, we made our promises?
That we would be together throughout every single thing
Now im only trynna be a better man (girl), but you've never noticed that
Girl i truly love, to be around you
And baby i'll give you anything you want me to
Cos i know this might be hard for you,
And i know that we will be..”

Why then do you see all the negative things, in me?
Cos all i ever do is try to be, all that i can be
Girl you know your hurting me, all the things you pray to me
As i lie at night im imagining things, how it used to be, girl you know ur hurting me
What am i to do with a broken heart?




THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.11 am .`+



THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.45 am .`+
i should be enjoying myself , my freedom .. but how come it doesnt seems so ? feels more like a major part of me is missing instead . the boy , who never fails to get me a chair to sit , no matter how crowded and packed the places are .. always comes to mind . the boy who would walk a distance just to take a straw for my beer . maybe thats how i fell in love with him .. maybe that is why i love him .. but i'll never get another chance to tell him . everything just feels so wrong and out of place now .. im just not in the least interested in any guys . even how others tried to sweet talk , saying how he would protect me and all those kinda stuffs .. i really treat it as nothing but utter craps . i just felt so turned off when they tried to talk me in .. the more they say , the more i felt digusted . only feels like punching their face .. sighs . why does everything seems so hard ..




THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.10 am .`+
this is the dont know how many days i'd been cooping myself at home after work , ever since the last met up . every night been sleeping at past 4 am , then wake up at 9 am in the morning for work .. everyday feeling very tired during work . thought of sleeping early every night .. but always fail to do so . cause once reach back home , then no mood to sleep .. so just stay online till late . sometimes just stare into the blank doing nothing like a total idiot . everyday only eat less than half a meal .. colleagues always say i very skinny but i dont really care . last night i finally look closely at myself in the mirror , suddenly realised that i'd really slimmed down alot . my waists are so small-sized that im starting to feel awful .. and i could even see the shape of my rib cages surfacing on the skin . machiam can play guitar alrdy .. lols . thin until like no money to eat .. but actually is not much appetite . entire mind just filled with work , work and work .. earn more money and dont think of anything else anymore . but im so tired ..




THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.44 pm .`+
today got 1 malay drunkard came into the shop , ask to change housing for his phone E63 . jason attended to him .. i was standing outside serving other customers . then suddenly hear his customer talk more and more loud , like going to quarrel .. so i walked over to see what's happening . the malay uncle keep asking why here cannot change housing for his phone ? what kind of lousy service is this ? jason told him that we do not sell housings over here , have to go back to the service centre . that uncle like cannot listen , then start to talk until very rude and arrogant .. he said he's a policeman and asked jason to respect him , dont force him make jason lose this job .. somemore demanded jason to give him his name and IC number so he will lodge a complaint . jason just stand there let him kpkb .. me also standing beside , but finally bui tahan liao .. so i spoke , "say already here no sell housing right ? what . you police big ar ! come lor .. lets call the police to settle ." that malay uncle keep empathesized that he's a policeman , no need call police to come . even police come , he also know them one .. say what , i no need call . he will help me call .. and he start to action beh deh , raised his hp . then i fuck care him and picked up the phone to dial 999 . i said , "okay lor , since you're police right ? then i call ur friends come down join in ." that stupid dog suddenly chickened out , and say anxiously .. "no need call police already .. i dont want complain anymore . what's the address of the service centre ?" ccb . then i shouted at him , "what ! call the police come la . scared you meh ? i thought you want to make my colleague lose this job .. you just now talk so loud to him for what ?" then he geh siao say , " no lah , where got loud .. asking only mah ." then he asked for the address .. jason wrote to him . and he seh seh walked away .. while walking , still bumped into others in the shop . all the customers in the shop were looking , and mocking at him . after he walked away , jason said .. "wahh , angela . i dont know you so fierce one .." then i replied , " then what ? stand down there let him scold you meh !"

thought everything ok liao . so we continued to do sales .. not long after , that uncle came back again . this time he said he wanna buy a phone .. trade in his phone . then i told him no trading , cause i dont want do his sales . then he asked , like that how ? i ask him sell outside . then ask what phone he want ? got contract or no contract . how much is his budget .. when i asked abt this , he gave me a very frustrated and stucked-up look . machiam im suspecting he has no money to buy like that .. but i am not lor . he say , "why ? i cannot buy phone is it . i want to trade in my phone and buy a new phone ! ask me how much budget for what ?" knn .. he like that say , makes me even angry . "cannot ask you budget how much meh ! i dont know ur budget then how i know what ranges you looking for . you cannot even tell me what functions you want ! so how ? you want got contract or what ?" that uncle then said he want to get with contract one . so i asked him for his IC and checked . jason keep asking me no need waste time on such fraudster .. i tell him , nvm . i will check and snook him . indeed , his IC cannot pass to get new line .. so i told him cannot ! he asked why cannot ? then i said "cause you never pay ur bills lah ! owe singtel money , then now you want to get new line ? waa , you think singtel so kind lor .." make him damn paiseh and walked away . while walking , he still can mummbled to himself saying "i only nvr pay $300+ only .. why like that one .."

after a while , that uncle came back AGAIN . he is really SEH until dunno what only lor .. keep say want trade in and buy contract phone . make me damn fucking angry . somemore still dare to throw his IC and a pass on the table , insisting that he want to open a new line .. but guess what ? his pass showed that he's only a CLEANER ! still claimed that he's a police . kns .. i scolded him , "i thought just now i say already you cannot sign contract ! you cannot hear is it ? you got bills nvr clear still dare come and sign line !" then he hear liao , lan lan siao siao walked away .. knn . im alrdy in rotten mood liao , still come and test my patience .. irritating .




THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.56 am .`+


独自一个人在房里大哭一场之后，我终于做出最后的决定。。虽然很抽痛，但我想这是最好的选择。也许对你对我都比较公平。。拖延着大家的时间，只会让彼此更加不愉快。我知道你一直很想说，但始终说不出口。。我这样做，只是想成全你的心愿。我也不希望与一个对我没深厚感情的人在一起。。虽然我真的很爱你，但我总不能委曲求全的盼着你能爱我多一些或对我好一点。曾以为我终于找到了一个能和我共度下半辈子的人。。但我还是太天真了。总是以为也许过了些时间，一切就会有好转。但我错了。。

事实总是难以预料。。对于爱情，我这次真的彻底的失败。无法挽留你的心，我也很遗憾。。不过我不会难过，因为至少我是真的尽了力。虽然我们经常有许多挣执。。但我的心从未动摇过。至少并没有受到任何人的影响。但我想这些再也不重要了。。因为最后，我还是失去了你。虽然我们没缘份在一起，但我还是衷心的祝福你找到真正的幸福。。一个，你爱的人。

我答应自己，再也不会为任何男人掉一滴眼泪。




THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥