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Saturday, August 30, 2008
__* 12.19 am .`+
counting down .. 17 more days to darkness .. are you feeling the same ?

just now should have gone OCH with Bestie , but didnt go . cause tmr i dun hab off .. somemore bleeding downstairs , so damn shag . lols .. sorry . i also damn dulan lor .. haiis . mood swing like fcuk onli .. sometimes feel like dying .. and leaving every burden behind me . if only you gave me the courage to .

~ { Saturday, August 30, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Tuesday, August 26, 2008
__* 1.15 am .`+
today i told Moon , "without him , i also can live well lor .." but dunno why feeling somehow hurt inside . just "cake teng teng" nia .. stupid .. haiis . so boring at work , not many customer . slack here and there .. keep running out go smoke with friends . Chia Wai came down .. Wei Ru came down .. still got who ? haha . no more lahs .. then after work go watch movie at Causeway with Wei Ru , Ben , Si Min . lame lahs , cause they all waiting for me off work then by the time finish my work alrdy what time liao . go inside see half of the show only .. "4bia" become "2bia" lahs ! lol . cause we only managed to catch the last 2 stories .. Wei Ru said he treat them watch , cause he want them to accompany us . haas .. really thanks for making such efforts . but nevermind la , he rich mah .. LOL . but just now that movie is NOT enough to compensate me for putting me stupid big bomb yesterday ok ! anyway , tmr he booking in liao .. see him again in 2 weeks' time bah .

today got guy call and said he got my contact from me a year ago in town .. now then contact me ! LAME sial . dont even know is real or not .. cause i seldom give contacts to guy one lor . but anyway , meet liao then see is real or not . see when free lahs .. not important also . now single good sial .. want meet who jiu meet who . want do what also nobody can care ! so carefree lor .. maybe i'll get used to such life soon .

tmr working with Rojak . today come alot stocks sial .. good ! tmr no need talk with him .. LOL . can slowly do my own things .. work , work and WORK ! keep myself fcuking busy and occupied .. think of nothing else more .. nothing to make me upset .. remind myself to laugh always . be a clown and make people happy .. i just hope all friends around me nvr to be sad .

Love is .. Seeing the one u loved dearly , having found his own happiness .. & with tears in ur eyes , pretending to be happy for them , no matter how hurt u may be feeling deep down ; Knowing that he will never ever again , yours to be .

~ { Tuesday, August 26, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Sunday, August 24, 2008
__* 6.49 .`+
its hard for me to really settle down and love someone whole-heartedly again .
i have not found anyone whose worth my tears ..


You are The Star


Hope, expectation, Bright promises.


The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised


The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.



~ { Sunday, August 24, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

i rather lose people who love & dote me , than to accept without treating them same . i rather coop myself at home than to hang out with guys .

~ { Sunday, August 24, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Thursday, August 21, 2008

i dont wish to be with anyone for just this 1 month before my ex comes out . cause i dont wanna make use of anyone to kill my boredom ! i must NOT be selfish nor self-centred .. as much as anyone wants to be with me , i will not deceive myself .

~ { Thursday, August 21, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Wednesday, August 20, 2008
__* 2.59 am .`+
today i wanna talk about my Bestie aka Jolyn the Bitch .. since she now staying over at my place .. haas . suddenly thought of blogging this down . actually this has always been in my heart , just that im not someone who knows how to express myself well .. so here goes :

thanks for everything that u'd done for me , Bitch . though only last year that we have met each other once again after such a long time .. but really , u were the only friend who treated me best . in the past , i was always the one who treat friends better than how they treated me .. and i was the one who stand to lose everything in the end . but after meeting you again .. i start to realise that in this world , there are much more important things than Love . i always thought that i couldnt live without Love , but i was wrong . ever since the broke-up with Tiger , you were the only one who's always there for me during my ups-and-downs .. i had changed so many boyfriends liao , but i nvr change you away ! haas . often i tell my guy friends about you .. i tell them how u'd always remember to buy things for me whenever ur shopping . im really touched .. cause no matter where u are , u always remember me . thanks alot . thanks for always being there to listen to my problems .. and to see me cry , hearing my sulkings and all . though sometimes we might quarrel over different point of views , but in the end we always managed to make it up and bury the hatchet . cause both of us know the importance of each other .. lols . BHB sial . =x ohhs , we shall never part , ok ? so .. till death do us part ! i mean , our friendship lahs .. =) i love you , Bestie .

continue another day ok .. cause the Bitch is making noise already . she want to sleep ler , so do i .. the time is 3.12 am . tmr still gotta work with the Boss ! omfg man . hahas ~ adios !

~ { Wednesday, August 20, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Tuesday, August 19, 2008
__* 1.57 am .`+
fell sick today during work . & still , now . tmr will be a boring day working , cause nvr work with Michelle before . maybe tmr she will play MC then i'll work with Boss ? haas . but also not much strength to care liao . so tired .. dont wish to reply any sms . didnt got enough sleep these few days .. it's like always feel not so sleepy when i reach back home .

3 more days .. and it's the 1st year i'd been living without him .
why am i still thinking of someone who wont be back ?

~ { Tuesday, August 19, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Monday, August 18, 2008
__* 1.40 am .`+
just reached home not long . havent bathe yet . just now after work went to slack with Jolyn , Den , Chia Wai , at Civic Centre Mac there . damn sian lor .. haiis . nowadays like alot things i see , are related to "him" . dont know why recently really damn ALOT sial . maybe he's trying to remind me to remember him every now and then .. lols . tmr working with Bestie . the day after , work with Michelle .. work , work and still , WORK ! think going to break down sooner or later liao . like become workaholic .. no life no nothing .

today Ice msg me saying he will wait for me and shits like that , he wont give up on me so easy . but i told him that everything's too late now .. i will wait for "him" no matter what . i'd already missed the chance before , and i aint gonna lose it this time . i just dont wish to regret for the rest of my life .. i may be fooling around as usual , but it's not what it seems to be . try to look deeper into my eyes , perhaps you'll still find a trace of tear left behind somewhere ..

this coming 21st , will be the 1st year of our broke-up . how fast time flies ..

~ { Monday, August 18, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Saturday, August 16, 2008
__* 1.56 am .`+
why Jeffrey call me Da-Sao when Bee told him im Tiger's ex ? actually i dont really know who Jeffrey was , but i was indeed shocked to hear that too . Sandra said that Jeffrey and Tiger was locked up in the same room or something like that . so did Tiger told him things about us ? or is Jeffrey just calling for fun ? sianz . yesterday didnt went to dye hair cause went down to CCK meet Sandra and Bee . eat together with them then after that thought got go down zouk with Bee . but was cancelled in the end , so i cabbed home .. before i took a cab , i walked from Bee's place to Keat Hong . i walked alone .. walking past Tiger's place . i on my phone mp3 , and the 1st song was coincidentally playing "Elliot Yamin - Wait For You " .. i didnt felt as sad . i just missed the path which i always took to work from his place when i was still working at Lot 1 . i wasnt tired , i was merely upset to be back at CCK to be remind of the past .. sigh . guess i really need some time to be alone ..

~ { Saturday, August 16, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Friday, August 15, 2008
__* 2.11 am .`+

today's message is ..

"Sorry. But i really wish that you will talk more with me. It seems to me that you are starting to avoid me cause you dun wish to treat me as a sub. But i wish that you will give me a chance. I will make you love me for who i am. You know it yourself that he broke with you before he went in and he has no feelings for you. I wont ask you to give up on him. But at least give me a chance to make you accept me."



~ { Friday, August 15, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Thursday, August 14, 2008
__* 1.47 am .`+
im just not ready for anyone new .. i really dont wish to make myself believe that i saw "him" in CW . it's just a part of my wishful thinkings that i could find someone as similar to replace him in my heart . i know this is stupid .. cause even "he" comes out , he might lie to me saying he still love me and stuffs like that , then patch with me even if he dont have feelings for me anymore . cause he can make use of me .. but i really dont know . haiis . i thought of alot things .. i kept asking friend to help talk to him like say my good things after he comes out . but .. i know in the end , only i can help myself .

sigh . sometimes i really feel like crying my heart out .. it's like he left me for such a long time liao . though during this 1 year i got flirt around , but u really think im feeling good inside ? he just dump everything and went in sit .. leaving me with no answer and no nothing .. with no directions to go .. u really think im happily outside enjoying myself too ? .. i tried to disguise myself , finding new boyfriends like changing clothes cause i really dont want others to think that im so weak in the inside .. knn , he break with me alrdy even before he went in then why should i be foolishly waiting for him . right ? somemore if he really loves me , then he wont do knn things like going out with girls liao lor . i keep telling myself that i had misunderstood him in the past .. i keep telling myself he loves me , and he really never do anything that let me down . but whats the use ?! things will never be the same as before lor . hais . fcuk love !!!

because of my stubborness , i'd hurt another again .. im really really sorry .. i really must wait for him to tell me the answer , before i step into a new r/s .

~ { Thursday, August 14, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Monday, August 11, 2008
__* 2.21 am .`+
All pictures were edited by Jolyn the Bitch . lols !







came back home as usual after slacking with Jolyn awhile at SK nearby her place .. today sales was terrible ! haas . but fcuk care la , sales go up and down .. aint much of my concern anyway . work is boring lahs .. the longer i work , the more boring is this job . but what to do ? nobody support mah . haas ~

these few days nvr contact with Ming Shun or Wei Ru liao . Ming Shun asked me not to message him if i dont miss him .. & not to say i miss him if i dont wanna be with him . lame sial ! so , good lor . might as well dont contact him liao . then Wei Ru i also nvr call liao , cause he everytime say because Ming Shun nvr call or sms me then i call him up one .. then fine lor ! all dont sms or call . lols .. then just now Wei Ru suddenly call me . say what he wanna see me now ah .. he AWOL nvr book in etc . damn bo liao sial .. but in the end , he say he called cause the following entire week they going out field then cannot book out . also , he wont be bringing his hp along so he called me for the last time before he go lor .. dots ! he think like that very funny ehs .

now is all dont contact then good . if not later they think i like them ah .. blah blahs ! then later quarrel among themselves become my fault .. lols . anyway , now also not really so much into guys liao . Chia Wai still got call me .. but i also busy working and stuffs . so bored lor . tmr working with Roger .. like FUCK only ! btw , today help Bestie pierced her LOW-brets . nice sial .. she did the markings herself . hees . but also must see who pierce one mah . =X

~ { Monday, August 11, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Saturday, August 09, 2008
__* 3.02 am .`+
yesterday forgot to bring extra money to go out with Bestie after work , so borrowed from Wei Ru . he couldnt find friends to transfer me , and he went downstairs himself to transfer me .. thanks alot . he really treats friends very good .. Roy asked me to be his girl , but i rejected ler . i just couldnt bring myself to hurt anyone again , when in my heart there's only a place for "him" . this time , i really made up my mind to wait .. even flings , i also dont have liao . not interested in any others . my heart will only die when he tells me in the face that he dont want me anymore ..

kingsley replied my letter liao . he's now in DB . nothing much , just sending of some regards ..

sorry Bestie , made you angry just now .. glad that things are okay between us now . i really never do anything that let myself down .. anyway , nice hairdo uhs ? haax . and ohh ya , i got my hair rebonded . and fcuk sial . my fringe is gone .. looks so dumb now .

dunno why people always like to ask me why i cannot forget "him" .. he treat you good ? aiyaa . dont ask me why .. i just wanna love him with every beat of my heart . maybe because that's a promise that's yet to be fufilled .. & a promise that i'd made to wait for him no matter what .

~ { Saturday, August 09, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Wednesday, August 06, 2008
__* 3.07 am .`+
sorry . i wanna love someone new again too , but time doesnt allows me to .. dont wait for me cause im not worth it . lets just forget everything about me ..

rashes on my tattoo are getting worse .. didnt bother to apply any medical cream either . fcuking itchy .. kept scratching during work . & every now and then lah .. arghs ! damn it . today worked with Bestie .. bought a $29.90 leather stud belt and form the word "slut" to accompany her taking her "bitch" buckle . lols .. so expensive la dey .

then after work , Bestie help me pierce my other cheek .. now i finally have a balance pierced cheeks . mwahahs ! arbo so funny lor . people kept asking why i dont want pierce the other one .. arbo is say very weird looking with 1 cheek pierced nia . then fine lor .. now i pierced both , so all can shut up liao ok ? -_-" after piercing , went to Mustafa with her .. didnt manage to get anything , cause i really dont need anything much now . Bestie bought herself a shirt and some food lahs . afterwhich we went to eat prata .. and then finally cabbed home . nothing special to blog about today ..

gotta go sleep liao . these few days kept sleeping at 4 plus .. working can fall asleep sial . haas ! good nights ~

~ { Wednesday, August 06, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Monday, August 04, 2008
__* 12.09 am .`+
now at home again , just finished eating . asked daddy to packet food for me cause i didnt had my dinner at work .. today Sandra's last day at Bluez . damn sad .. haiis . but no choice lahs . it's like this one . once u work long enough in a company , u'll get to see lots of colleagues come and go .. the reason why i still stay on is cause im still waiting for someone who'll be out next month . also cause my bestie is there lahs .. =x tmr will be working with bestie Jolyn and Karen the new girl . work with Jolyn .. i'm really happy , no matter what .

today never run anywhere . i'd decided liao , dont want any more flings .. i just wanna find someone who loves me for who i am . and i think .. maybe i dont know . but maybe there's someone like that . well , but i'll choose a good one . =] but now's not the time .. hope i can be able to hold my temptations till next month . if really no hope between "us" , then i'll give up ..

today's last phrase on the phone was .. "oie .. i really like you .. byebye ."

~ { Monday, August 04, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;
__* 12.48 am .`+
just finished bathing . just now after work , slack around at wdls awhile with Roy . didnt thought he come down find me , cause he said he going back camp instead .. then , he lied to me and suddenly come down . dont know is suppose to be happy or angry .. we slacked awhile , before he got to rush back to camp before 2359 . he kept jokingly asked me to be his girl .. talk lots of craps . then in the end before we part , he said "wei , you really think im joking with you ah .. want be my girl or not ?" .. i said to sms then talk about it . he asked if i like him .. i replied okok only lor . then we skipped away the topic liao . lolols ~ crazy . just know him not long ago , then ask me be his gf .. say what he 1st time saw me then crush on me ler . rubbish sial ! now still in trend such nonsense one meh ? anyway , he said he told Wei Ru that he's coming down to meet me . i think Wei Ru must be damn angry lahs .. hais . i know he treat me very good .. he's a nice guy . but really lahs , no mood to wanna have feelings for anyone now . somemore next coming month is critical sial . Tiger coming out soon .. damn stress .

Chia Wai today came down to find me suddenly during work . scare me .. lols . went smoke break awhile with him , before he go watch movie with his friends . he asked me if i wanna join , but i rejected . too tired liao wanna go home rest lor .

so after everything , here i am back at home ! weets .

wahhs .. kns . just talked about Wei Ru , then he sms me liao . wthh ? but dont know if he knows abt just now Roy meeting me or not .. haas . and u know what ? right now Roy sms me too . 2 people messaging me at the same time , and they both are inside camp and just sleeping beside each other nia . what the fcuk ?! damn funny sial ..

~ { Monday, August 04, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;

Friday, August 01, 2008
__* 1.11 am .`+
i still miss you . and i'd nvr stop loving you even after ..

what are you doing now ?
are you thinking of me too , and wishing we could go back to where we started ?

~ { Friday, August 01, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;