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Wednesday, February 20, 2008
__* 2.55 am .`+
if you dont know things about me and Darick , pls dont anyhow make ur judgements on me ..

when i together with him , my ex msg . i did not reply his msg .. Darick saw my msg and replied him asking him to fuck off and dont bother me anymore . we quarrelled . why ? not because i want to stay in contact with my ex .. is cause i felt that i should at least have a say in who my friends are . somemore when my heart is devoted in someone , it will never change . together with him , again like the past i stay 24 hours with him .. sometimes he sneak go out , leaving me alone at home to wait for him . do you understand how fcuk that feeling is ? when he can go out play , but im the one waiting patiently for his return .. i didn even go back home , cause he doesnt want me to . he's scared if i go back sengkang then i'll meet guys . you know , the same mistakes keep appearing .. the trust is never there .

my parents disapprove us being together . why ? cause he's living off me , is what they told me . i agree partially . cause im the one whose working , while he's the one slacking at home after his lion dance .. the money he earns is lesser than mine . but of course i didnt mean that im paying everything .. he did paid , thats why i did not blame him for anything .

why i broke off and dont want go back anymore ? its not the 1st time that i wanted to pack and leave . you dont understand ok ? when we quarrelled , he could simply lose his mind and hit the wall hardly or bang everywhere .. even throw my clothes out of the window . he makes me felt insecure . i dont know why everytime quarrel will have such great reaction .. i know he loves me more than anything in the world . but i dont wish to stay with him if it's out of sympathy . i dont wish to hurt him anymore .. thats why i chose to let go at this point of time before everything's too late . i dont want my boyfriend to keep fight with me .. i dont want him to hurt himself either .

alot alot background stories between us , you guys dont even know . nobody knows how hurt i feel .. cause i dont say . if you dont know anything , dont anyhow judge me ok ? i dont need anyone to know who i really am . i dont need anyone to understand me .. i dont ask for anything , but just to lead a simple life . if he say im a bitch ? then what is he ? he wanna jio patch but then so fast got himself a girlfriend and claimed that she's the one he loves . what the hell ? now then i know , this is called Love . after broke off with him , i didnt even wanna hang out with guys .. only after he do things until like this , then i stopped wanting to love him . yes , he's pityful cause he dont have any family love . but so what ? does it means he has the right to resort to violence on me ? who am i ? someone to vent his anger on ? hais .. dont know what to say . i just wanna relax one corner ok .. please let me live .

~ { Wednesday, February 20, 2008 }
被你爱过我真的很快乐 ;